the Good . . . the Bad . . . the Hopeless!
I've just concluded a seemingly simple project of "dating-online," in search of what I thought would be a fun adventure coupled with tender togetherness and ending with a new mate to Love, Honor, and Adore.
I, like thousands of others recently divorced, subscribed to a dating service that claimed they could provide an unlimited source of female prospects that I would find reasonably compatible, reasonably good-looking and all the other reasonable reasons I should join as soon as possible. More-over, I would probably find a mate quickly, fall in love madly, mate instantly and constantly, and live happily ever-after. But, I better hurry, since that one-of-a-kind beauty is online right-now, searching for Mr. Right and here you sit just thinking about it
Well, alright maybe they didn't say all that, but it was certainly implied and I fell for it "Hook, Line, & Sinker!" I'm so gullible anyway. Then I thought, I've been looking at ten different dating sites all suggesting their ladies are unique, motivated, hot women. If one site is good, wouldn't four be better with faster results! No additional work on my part. All of my info and pictures would be the same, but with quadruple the pleasure coming from four different sources. I couldn't resist. It's only money, Right?
How insanely naïve!
You're totally unaware and unprepared for the following. What's required is no small task: the preparations, the scheduling, the invites, the replies, the calls, the emails, the perpetual smiles, the cocktails, the shows, OMG.
I was 'high', on an adrenalin rush all day and half the night. Some week-ends, I had up to 6 dates scheduled. Breakfast, lunches, cocktails, dinner. You need at least six outfits, on hangers, ready to go at all times. Overtime with any date, screws up all the scheduling, the call backs, the profile reviews, the invites and forget about any free-time to your-self. It's totally crazy.
More than a couple times, I would forget what day it was and go to a scheduled date's meeting site only to find out the actual date is 'tomorrow.' You become so involved in the process, the lady almost becomes secondary and is easily discarded because of the "line-up" of others hastily created and waiting their turn.
Wow! That's not all. In eight months I lost 20 lbs and spent thousands of dollars (most dates were Country Club venues). Some of the ladies could easily be classified as professional lunch grazers, cocktail-holics, or simply bored-lifers, ready for any change of scenery, pace, or companion.
I dated over 125 different women, not counting the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th dates with the same woman. The 20 or 30 meetings that I found so out-of-place, so outlandish, I actually wrote a book about them. At one date, I was totally speechless . . . and at another, . . . I threw-up.
Sorry to say, I was not successful in my quest for a new life-long "Mate." But I was never lucky in the dating department anyway. But, after thinking about it, maybe it's not luck at all. May be it's the fact that I really don't know how to date. Sure a date is just being with another, it's only a meeting. Nothing special to learn, just look nice. I was sorry to find, that that was not the formula. There is so much more to it, I think! It's more than meetings and numbers, places and things.
I now think attitude, desire, and how you perceive your "self," has much more to do with it than I had previously thought. It's not like going out and starting a successf