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The Chronicles of The Soak 00:00:01. von Clark, Lewis and (eBook)

  • Erscheinungsdatum: 01.11.2016
  • Verlag: BookBaby
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The Chronicles of The Soak

Jennifer, a struggling wine-shop owner, has recently received a lengthy hand-written letter from a guy she briefly dated almost fifteen years earlier. Despite having mixed emotions of the past relationship, Jennifer is genuinely moved by the letters heartfelt apology, transparent honesty, and most curious invitation to something he calls The Soak. You know what, wait a second... Lewis has fallen asleep on his keyboard again while working on the next chronicle: 00:00:02. Meanwhile, Clark is thinking of calling it a day, pouring a bubbly 2005 Côte des Blancs, and celebrating just surviving this whole miraculous ordeal. But hey, if a Chronicle synopsis is an absolute must, well, here you go. Imagine an edgy The Chronicles of Narnia hooking up with a real-life The Shack and having a manuscriptus marriage. The name of their literary child would be 'The Chronicles of The Soak.' Oh, except for one major difference: Lewis and Clark are both kinda, uh, well...

Produktinformationen

    Format: ePUB
    Kopierschutz: AdobeDRM
    Seitenzahl: 160
    Erscheinungsdatum: 01.11.2016
    Sprache: Englisch
    ISBN: 9781483583044
    Verlag: BookBaby
    Größe: 481kBytes
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The Chronicles of The Soak

Chapter 00:00:07 G ood news. After four years, I finally received my pardon from the Horror Cineplex 5. That's a long time, yes? :: Jennifer nodded in agreement. :: :: Actually, if I am to be honest, it's the Horror Cineplex 10-plus. In the first five theaters, I played the lead character being hurt and taken advantage of. And, yeah, it's horrifying. But, it's nothing compared to the next five-plus theaters, I sense: those are the theaters where I am the one creating pain and horror in other people's lives. But I'm just not ready for anything beyond the HC 5 right now. I'm just not. Hope that is okay, Thafer. :: Jennifer cleared her throat. :: :: But, hey, you gotta start somewhere. No sense in diving into a hot Jacuzzi, some say. So, let's slide in with the easier part. Much easier. The part that is considerably less horrific-well, to me, anyway. Give a guy a little time to get his honesty and courage up. :: :: "Okay," whispered Jennifer. I mean, what choice did she have? :: Well, my mother-who was playing the leading role in The Exorcist -has finally moved on to greener pastures. In other words, she died. I do love her, you know, for being there for me throughout my life. But I also hated her, at times, for turning many of our moments and plans together into such a nightmare. Isn't that the way it frequently goes? Good news is that I think she passed away in perfect love during her last moments. A word of advice, if I may be so bold: be careful what you earnestly attach to in this life. It just may come full circle and ferociously attach itself to you. :: :: The mother and son duo in the psychological flick, Gaslight, are also gone. It's funny who shows up out of the woodwork to "help out"" when you are at your most vulnerable. I swear these two sly fortune-hunters had my head spinning in more circles than an owl watching a NASCAR race. The strange thing was Miss Gaslight and I used to attend the same church. She was, therefore, "trustworthy"" with important matters. Right? In retrospect I sure wish she had been taking notes during certain sermons. Aw, geez, who am I kidding? I should have been taking notes, too. Maybe more notes than Miss Gaslight? Nah. :: :: :: The Carpetbaggers have long since made their profitable haul. Yeah, thank goodness for close, dependable relatives. Why didn't you just cut out my heart with a spatula? Slowly! It probably would have been less painful. :: :: "Ahem." Jennifer again cleared her throat. Reading this letter was not fun. It brought up a few of her own hardships-some of them not so distant. :: :: My soon-to-be-homeless friend-who was dangling over the crevasse in Cliffhanger- was pulled to safety. Granted, my metaphorical arm hurts like Gehenna. But the damsel was spared. Kind of. It cost me thousands by the way. However I did get a great cat out of the whole ordeal. I do love that cat. Unlike much of humanity, I can actually trust my cat. No small thing, nowadays. :: Oh, but we're not done yet. There's five theaters, remember? Why stop now?, :: I just handed off my top-secret energy project-numero dos on my list of lifelong dreams-to a trusted friend, as dealing with the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe is tantamount to a death sentence for someone suffering from a version of post-horror stress disorder. Will numero dos ever see the light of day now? Stay tuned, PHSD aficionados! It's so fun to see people spasm, flinch, and drool after being submerged in the horrific. Will they make it? Will they not? It's almost like sitting in the audience of a gladiator fight. :: :: :

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